Many forms of therapy are designed for neurotypical ways of thinking. They can often be less helpful for neurodivergent individuals or sometimes even cause harm. A neuro-affirming or neurodiversity-affirming therapist will understand neurodiversity and respect your unique needs, strengths and communication style. The therapy they use will be tailored to you as an individual, what you need and want to achieve, rather than trying to make you fit into a mould that’s not quite right for you.

So how do you tell if a therapy or therapist is neuro-affirming? Here are six things to look out for:

Does your therapist really listen to you?

The most important thing in therapy is that you feel as comfortable as possible talking with your therapist, so that you can speak as naturally and openly as you’d like to. It should feel that they are really listening to you and not judging you. This is the basis for a good therapeutic relationship.

Do you feel understood?

Your life experiences have all have an impact on you and shaped the way you see the world. It should feel that your therapist understands this and what you are saying. A neuro-affirming therapist will validate and help you understand the way you’re feeling. They won’t dismiss your feelings or make you feel wrong or inferior.

Is your therapist helping you achieve what you want?

Neuro-affirming therapy should be tailored to you as an individual, what you need and want to achieve, rather than trying to make you fit into a mould that’s not quite right for you. You should feel that your therapist has really understood what you want to do and is working with you to achieve that. The focus should be on helping you feel the way you would like to feel, not on changing your behaviour to please others.

Is your therapy making you feel better not worse?

It might sound obvious, but the right therapy shouldn’t make you feel worse! Many therapeutic approaches work for neurotypicals but can be less helpful for neurodivergent individuals or can even sometimes cause further harm. Neuro-affirming therapy shouldn’t involve spending ages focusing on traumatic experiences or being repeatedly exposed to triggers if you find this distressing. There are neuro-affirming therapies such as BWRT (BrainWorking Recursive Therapy) which can work quickly, without you having to focus on the difficulty you’re facing for long, and which allow you to keep private anything you’d rather not talk about. Discover more about BWRT here.

Can you talk about things in your own way?

Perhaps you have difficulty labelling your feelings or describing them in words. Maybe you don’t notice anxiety happening until it’s too late – perhaps it’s triggered by sensory input or something else that you’re not immediately aware of. Maybe you don’t know why you respond the way you do. Neuro-affirming therapy takes all of this into account and works in a way that’s comfortable for you.

Are you somewhere you feel comfortable?

Think about the environment you’ll feel most comfortable in for your therapy. You’ll want to be able to concentrate on talking about things with as few sensory distractions and discomforts as possible. You should feel able to move around or use fidgets if you want to. Maybe you’ll feel most comfortable staying at home, in which case choose a therapist who works online so you don’t have to travel. You can stay in a familiar environment, have what you need around you and wear clothes you feel most comfortable in. Studies have found that online therapy via video call is as effective as in-person therapy, sometimes even more so. You can choose whichever suits you best.

Final thoughts

You’ll know that you’ve found the right neuro-affirming therapist if you feel that they really listen to you, understand you, and are working with you to achieve what you want to. You’ll feel able to talk about things in your own way in an environment you feel comfortable in and you’ll start to feel better.

Are you looking for neuro-affirming therapy? Contact me for a chat about how I can help.
I offer BWRT (BrainWorking Recursive Therapy), which works with each individual’s unique way of thinking. It doesn’t need you to describe in detail what you’re feeling and doesn’t involve lengthy re-exposure to triggering situations. Instead we quickly and effectively help you feel the way you’d prefer to feel.